


Didn't Let Go

by AgentOklahoma



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-23
Updated: 2013-09-23
Packaged: 2017-12-27 10:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/977893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentOklahoma/pseuds/AgentOklahoma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After so long in the Animus, remaining unaffected by the blood spilt on Ezio's hands, on Altair's, Desmond finally spills blood on his own and finds he can't handle it the same.</p>
<p>Warning! Spoilers for AC: III</p>
            </blockquote>





	Didn't Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer- I don’t own Assassin’s Creed or any of its characters. If I did, there would be a game where all of the assassins meet and it would be awesome.

Shaun watched the security feed they’d hacked into, watching over Desmond as he infiltrated Abstergo to save William. It wasn’t that Shaun was worried, at least at that moment, he wasn’t. Earlier he’d been terrified, watching Desmond, his friend, his colleague, his...something....walk into Abstergo, no weapons save for the hidden blade strapped to his wrist and the fighting experience he’d gained through the Animus, walking into the ‘belly of the beast’.

But as soon as Vidic gave the order to restrain Desmond and the fight began, Shaun stopped worrying for Desmond’s safety and started worrying about his sanity.

The confidence in his stride, the fluidity of his movements as he cut down guard after guard after guard. The way he barely even gave the bodies a second glance as he passed them by, the expression on his face when he happened to face towards a camera. It was almost like watching Altaïr slaughter the men that killed his wife and his youngest. Like seeing the guards that destroyed Ezio’s family being ripped to pieces. Connor mercilessly hunting down the men that killed his mother and burned his village to the ground.  
Hundreds of years of anger and betrayal. Of pain and the need for revenge surfacing in Desmond, making him ruthless and cold and all of this made Shaun’s breath stop in his chest. He looked away as Desmond plunged his blade into the throat of another man, tossing his body aside before continuing on his path.

“It’s...It’s like he’s not even human anymore,” Rebecca breathed, unable to take her eyes away from the feed. Shaun felt a pang in his chest, returning to his work as he waited in the van outside for Desmond to return, hopefully alive and not...this.

Shaun tuned out as much as he could of the choking gurgles of the dying guards, of the sound of steel against flesh and bone, only listening to Rebecca’s run down on what was going on. Desmond killed Cross. He got to level 5. He made it through the doors to Vidic and William.

He used the Apple.

Shaun turned away from his work to stare at the security cameras, the black and white still managing to capture a little of the brilliance of the Apple’s glow as it turned the guards against their leader or just sent them crumbling to the floor.

It wasn’t much longer until Desmond walked out of the building, William following behind him and the Apple still glowing in his hand. Then Desmond stumbled.

“Desmond!” Shaun called, throwing himself against the doors of the van to open them, sprinting towards the young assassin and catching him before he could fall to the ground. The Brit took the Apple from Desmond, shoving it into his pocket as he looked over the other man to find him unconscious, exhausted from using the apple so much in such a short time.

“Shaun, get him in the van, we need to get the fuck out before reinforcements show up,” William ordered, climbing into the passenger seat while Shaun picked Desmond up, setting him on the floor as gently as possible before they took off. The historian knelt down beside Desmond, looking him over for injuries, finding just a few bruises and a graze from a gunshot.

The drive was filled with a tense silence, William glancing into the back at his son every now and then, Rebecca using the rear view mirror. Shaun didn’t notice, just shifting Desmond so he was propped up against his chest, head resting in the crook of Shaun’s neck, barely muffling small grunts of pain.

**_AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC-AC_ **

“How is he?” Rebecca asked, approaching Shaun and the still out-cold Desmond, looking at the young assassin.

“He got knocked around a little. I bandaged the graze on his arm now just waiting for him to wake up,” Shaun said, looking up from his laptop at Rebecca, Desmond lying on his sleeping bag, beside him, curled up on his side with his cheek pressed against Shaun’s thigh. Rebecca quirked an eyebrow at the position but didn’t say anything, just bidding them goodnight and returning to her sleeping area by the Animus, William by the first power source slot.

Shaun typed away at his laptop, occasionally stopping to check on the door beside them but remaining focused mostly on his work until he felt the weight on his thigh shifting a little, looking down to find Desmond’s eyes open, peering up at him. 

“Hey. Feeling alright?” Shaun asked quietly, looking back at his laptop and finishing off his work so he could pack up and sleep relatively soon. He didn’t get a response, just some more movement until a hand came up to grip his leg as well, Desmond nuzzling into his leg a little more and staring ahead blankly. Shaun frowned, closing the last file and shutting off his laptop, putting it aside.

“Shift a little,” Shaun asked, gently moving Desmond’s arm so he could lie down beside the other man, the arm curling around his waist and Desmond’s head resting on his chest, ear planted right over his heart. This was odd for them because, no, they weren’t all that close but after being trapped for so long, separated from the rest of humanity, some human contact was necessary to keep that last bit of sanity.

“Talk to me, Desmond,” Shaun pleaded, stroking the assassin’s back, trying to coax anything out of him other than the silence he’s been getting since they’d gotten away from Abstergo.

“I killed them,” Desmond whispered, his voice hoarse from spending so little time speaking for so long and probably without a drink.

“The guards?” Shaun asked, the grip around his waist tightening answering his question. “Desmond, you would have been captured and Vidic would have done so much worse to you and your father than just kill you. No one here blames you for what you had to do to keep everyone safe,” the Brit cooed, a hand coming up to run through Desmond’s hair.

“And what were they doing? Serving their horrible templar masters because they want to destroy the world? No, they were just soldiers doing what they were told because it was what they were paid to do. How they made money for their families just like De Sable’s men. Like the Venetian, Florentine, the Roman guards. The British soldiers Connor was fighting,” Desmond bit out. “They had nothing else they could do to live and I had to slit their throats?” he tried to push away from Shaun, just managing to weakly bat at the other man as Shaun held on tight, keeping Desmond close to his chest.

“Those were Altaïr’s memories. And Ezio’s and Connor’s. It wasn’t you. They had their reasons and they’d been bred and raised to kill. And you have to kill the Abstergo guards. You were just protecting what you care about and keeping yourself safe so we can save the bloody world. I’m not saying you don’t have the right to feel bad about taking lives but you reasons for it. You had to,” Shaun said, gripping Desmond’s chin as gently as he could but still force their eyes to meet. Desmond stayed silent, that self-loathing visibly in his gaze until he just broke, tears filling his brown eyes and spilling down his cheeks while Shaun brought him close again, whispering soothingly to the younger man, pressing light kisses to his hair every now and then.

Desmond fell asleep later that night in Shaun’s arms, physically and emotionally exhausted. And Shaun didn’t let go.


End file.
